Dear colon....I hate you

Has anyone been looking for a new recipe for death lately? Oh because I found you a good one. The following items will be all my diet consists of for the next ten days.....

1) Lemonade. Sounds refreshing right? Think again.

2) Maple Syrup. Can it get more delicious than this? Oh yes. It can. Keep reading.

3) Cayenne Pepper. Have you ever seasoned your lemonades with this little treat?

WHY AM I DOING THIS????? My aunt knows exactly whats up when it comes to all that natural raw health food crap, and she decided my colon needed a little cleansing....I mean why not, right? You only live once, might as well have a clean colon while you do it. However, if I had known how completely ILL I would feel while doing, or that my mom was making marinated grilled chicken for dinner last night, I would have to say that I would have thought twice. I might have said, "You know what? I think I like my colon filled with parasites thanks. But nice of you to ask," or perhaps, "Maybe next time. I'm pretty okay with unregular poo for now." I don't know. Call me selfish, but I happen to enjoy having chewable food from time to time. So all I can say at this point is, Colon you better love me for this. And look sparkling clean.

AND JUST A REMINDER TO ONE AND ALL THAT SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE PREMIERS THIS THURSDAY!!!!! TWO HOURS! DON'T MISS IT! ME AND MY COLON SURELY WON'T!